Hiring in the Wild: If Animals Had to Pass Background Checks

Let’s say nature had an HR department. 
There’s a startup in the jungle, a boardroom in the savanna, and some very competitive resumes flying in from the forest floor. But before any animal gets hired, there’s one step they can’t skip: the background check. 

At Bchex, we take vetting seriously—but that doesn’t mean we can’t have a little fun. What would it look like if the Animal Kingdom had to go through screening, just like the rest of us? 

Let’s imagine what might show up on some of nature’s most iconic candidates.

The Lion — Applying for CEO 

Resume Highlights: 

• Natural leader 

• Commands attention 

• Great at setting boundaries (especially territorial ones) 

Background Check Flags: 

• Aggression history—may intimidate peers 

• Past incidents of hoarding resources 

• Occasionally seen sleeping on the job (up to 20 hours a day) 

HR Notes: 
Possesses strong executive presence but may need coaching on collaboration and delegation. Risk of dominating team meetings... literally.

The Chameleon — Applying for Brand Manager 

Resume Highlights: 

• Highly adaptable 

• Blends into any environment 

• Expert in shifting tone and messaging 

Background Check Flags: 

• Identity inconsistencies 

• Difficult to track performance trends due to frequent changes 

• Reputation for avoiding conflict (and sometimes responsibility) 

HR Notes: 
Would thrive in dynamic environments but may require clarity around accountability and team visibility. Great candidate for flexible roles. 

The Owl — Applying for Head of Strategy 

Resume Highlights: 

• Excellent vision (literally and figuratively) 

• Deep thinker 

• Works best in quiet environments 

Background Check Flags: 

• Mostly nocturnal—meeting availability may be an issue 

• Past roles often solo; may struggle with cross-functional work 

HR Notes: 
Brilliant mind for long-term vision but may not thrive in fast-paced or highly social teams. Worth the extra effort if paired with a strong executor. 

The Dolphin — Applying for Culture Lead 

Resume Highlights: 

• High emotional intelligence 

• Great communicator 

• Strong sense of team bonding 

Background Check Flags: 

• May be overly playful in formal settings 

• Prior concerns about distracting others with click noises and jumping antics 

HR Notes: 
Top-tier team player with natural social skills. Will likely be the heart of the team, as long as expectations are clear. Strong "culture add." 

The Squirrel — Applying for Financial Analyst 

Resume Highlights: 

• Expert at saving and storing 

• High-energy multitasker 

• Fast mover, fast thinker 

Background Check Flags: 

• History of hoarding behavior 

• Occasionally buries things and forgets where 

• Nervous under pressure 

HR Notes: 
Detail-oriented and budget-conscious but may need help managing deadlines and anxiety during quarterly reviews. Great potential with the right manager. 

Final Thoughts: Even in the Wild, Fit Matters 

At the end of the day, the best teams—human or otherwise—are built on trust, alignment, and self-awareness. While this is (thankfully) just a light-hearted take, the principles behind it still stand: 

• Great candidates aren’t perfect—they’re right for the role. 

• Every strength comes with nuance. 

• And background checks help you understand the whole picture, not just the polished resume. 

At Bchex, we help you vet with care, context, and clarity—whether you're hiring a lion, a dolphin, or, you know, a real person.